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"It was just so ruinous for a woman to be caught in adultery in past times, you had to be really driven or motivated to do it," says Peter D.

Kramer, clinical professor of psychiatry at Brown University and author of "Should You Leave?

They gripe about their husbands and, if they're being perfectly honest and the wine kicks in, they talk about the disappointments in their marriages. It started with an old friend, whom she began meeting every several months for long dinners and some heavy petting.

The best interpretation of the data: the cheating rate for women is approaching that of men, says Tom Smith, author of the NORC's reports on sexual behavior.

" "Now you can get away with it, there's a social role that fits you." Keep up with this story and more Just how many married women have had sex with people who are not their husbands?

It's hard to say for sure, because people lie to pollsters when they talk about sex, and studies vary wildly.

They go to more meetings, take more business trips and, presumably, participate more in flirtatious water-cooler chatter.

If infidelity is an odds game, then the odds are better now than they used to be that a woman will accidentally bump into someone during the workday who, at least momentarily, interests her more than her husband does. We're poised," says Elana Katz, a therapist in private practice and a divorce mediator at the Ackerman Institute for the Family in New York City.

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