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The question of whether the new relationship will succeed relates to what function it is playing in your relationship with your current partner.If you have the kind of primary relationship where you initially experienced a significant amount of time where you were mutually in love and satisfied with the relationship and then grew apart because of life stresses or conflict and you entered the affair to experience being in love again, this does not bode well for the long term success of the affair relationship.I came across an interesting statistic recently; 25% of relationships that start as affairs succeed.Actually, I was surprised, if I had to guess, I would have thought the figure to be much lower.That is because almost all relationships follow a predictable course of developmental stages, all at some point going through a period of disillusionment.If you can get through this difficult phase, you have the potential of entering into a mature, dependable and sustaining love based much more on reality and much less on romantic idealization.You may not have been equipped at that time in your life to make an appropriate choice for a life partner.
For example, if, prior to entering your primary relationship, you had the unconscious belief that you were unlovable, or didn’t deserve to be loved, you may have ended up with someone who couldn’t really give you love.
Thinking about this, you may wonder what the chances are that a relationship that starts as an affair will succeed.
Pitfalls of Affair Relationships Relationships that start as affairs have many strikes against them. They can arise out of an urgent emotional need, a need so urgent that a thoughtful process of getting to know someone and assessing what kind of partnership the two of you would have is not part of the bonding process.
Imagine you or your partner has to go on a lot of out of town business trips some years into the relationship during a time when you are struggling with conflict. There is also the issue of not having the support of family and friends.
Having long-term successful relationships are difficult enough without trying to do them in a vacuum.