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Evan and I would have nothing to talk about, no shared interests besides the fact that we were on Tinder. I no longer spent miserable hours staring at my phone, wondering if he would call me that day or the next.
More importantly, I thought, his personality was completely different from mine. When he began messaging me, I discovered he wasn't. About two years before I met Evan, I'd met my dream man — the Byron I'd longed for. I no longer saved the affectionate texts he sent me, because I knew there would be many more to follow.
He is 37, divorced with one teenage kid that he sees every other weekend. I can’t figure out if I’m attracted to him or the fact that he’s a good guy. Calls, writes me letters, texts, takes me out, does family outings, asks about my day, washes my car, is clean, is fit, responsible, understanding, compliments me, etc, etc. We don’t get too much opportunity to spend alone time so we’ve only slept with each other twice. He’s completely fallen for me, thinks I’m strong, independent, beautiful, good mom, etc. Then the dilemma becomes do I let this great guy go and regret it afterward? As I see it, you’re asking a few separate questions here. You may be confounding to men, but you’re definitely not crazy and definitely not wrong…. We can break it down to its elemental components, but that thing that you feel, which draws you to a man? No more than the base attraction a man has to a woman when he sees her across a crowded room.
wants to make me happy and for me to be his “girlfriend” and I can just tell the L word is coming along any day now. Sure everyone puts their best foot forward when they’re dating but who’s to say he’ll stay like that? Dear Diana, I can only imagine that thousands of women were reading your post and nodding along at the familiarity of your situation. Let’s break them down separately, so hopefully you can find a little clarity – or, more likely, validation, for how you feel. There has been a great deal written on this, and there’s an entire industry designed to explain to “nice guys” how to attract women.
And that wasn’t something I either respected or was attracted to. I think the X-Factor is that you’re a 28-year-old single mom.He was a nice, average guy, with nice but boring friends. They're intelligent and analytical, so they wonder, "What am I doing wrong? The things I needed were boring things like consistency, reliability, enthusiasm. " They move mountains to be with Byron, because they think, like I did, that he's the man of their dreams. We aren't taught to want these things, which is why it took me so long to realize that I was fundamentally and deeply incompatible with the man of my dreams. I can just tell and trust me, I’m not wrong on this. In fact, it’s been turned into such a science, that you might want to take a look at it.So he usually gets involved with psychos that latch on to him. I like my space and I don’t care if I never see you again. A guy in my life is “nice to have” but by no means a need. Check out more from one of the original masters, David De Angelo. But the attitude that plays the best with the most women is generally some version of “cocky and funny.” Of course, most women outgrow men who are so cocky that they are unable to forge bonds with a woman.