Dating gift guidelines
Having these tough conversations now will lead to less headaches down the road.
The whole ordeal just adds insult to injury, as dating someone new is uncomfortable enough under normal circumstances. You’re only barely acquainted with this individual, so how the hell are you to know what they would even like? Pick a non-romantic genre, like comedy, action or hardcore porn (yes, that last one was a joke – can we get a sarcasm font up in here? A few weeks before, feel it out with a casual “So, what’s on your Christmas list? And it should be a thought that lasted more than three seconds, because ladies want to know that you’ve put a modicum of effort into selecting something just for her that you felt she would appreciate. Of course, since she is still not your “official” girlfriend, you don’t want to go hell bent bonkers either. If she’s into clean living, organic stuff is a good bet.
Disagreements often boil down to one thing and one thing only: a miscommunication or a lack of expectations within the relationship.
This may even be why you felt that the marriage was on the rocks in the first place.
Or the worst — what if one person presents a gift and (gasp! I realize I am generalizing here, but in my experience, women have a tendency to go a wee bit overboard when it comes to giving presents. AVOID: Lingerie, jewelry, clothing, cologne, stuffed animals (we are grown women), a vibrator, anything sexual actually, the latest incarnation of World of Warcraft. At the end of the day, you know your not-significant other better than I do (because I don’t know them at all), so if you just KNOW she would go gaga over a Target gift card (cough) or you are POSITIVELY CERTAIN he would adore a frilly framed photo of the two of you (you sure, girl? This is merely a loose guide for the frustrated and clueless, and it gives you somewhere to start.
Let each other know how often you want to talk and what should be expected as you step into separation.
Are you just taking time apart to let things cool down, or is your separation a clear stepping stone to divorce?
Oh, and in one other situation: when it’s holiday time and you’re in a relationship that has yet to be defined as the ever-elusive “exclusive.” In this case, the entire gift-giving jam can be as awkward as one of Uncle Len’s “accidental” ass grabs during Thanksgiving dinner. (Yes.) But around tinsel time, yet another question gets thrown onto the pile of uncertainties, and it’s a biggie: Am I expected to proffer a gift to my not-quite-significant other, and if so, what am I supposed to get? Remember, you can always add BJ coupons if necessary. If it’s been more than three months and you have still not had the exclusivity talk, it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking. But truthfully, for women (okay, women), the thought actually IS the key to finding the right gift. Remember these little nuggets and use them to inform your choice of gift. For example, “I know you’ve been super stressed at work, so I thought you could use a little pampering.” Or, “I remember you mentioned how much you love lavender, so I’d hoped you would enjoy this lavender massage lotion.” 2. Again, this would only apply if she is a wine aficionado. If she burns candles every time you go to her place, get her some fancy scented candles.
There are just so many unanswered questions: Do they like you? Or, if you’ve only been out a few times, is a gift even required? To assist in your quest for the perfect (or at least not completely mortifying) gift, I’ve put together some rough guidelines. ” If he blows it off, play it safe and stick with the guidelines above. A flask, a beer mug, a respectable bottle of booze. If you go the highly impersonal fruit basket or gift card route, it can come off as lazy or like you just don’t care. Be sure to explain your thought process as you present her with this precious offering.